A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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