I seem to have left my pride at pride
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
