Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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