she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
