So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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