The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
