chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
