You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
