I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize