she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
