it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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