I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
this hospital has no fireball
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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