My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
