i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
