john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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