Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
