Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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