He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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