All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
