i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
