Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
All I want is dick and wine.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
