I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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