We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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