Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
