Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
