I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
