pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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