they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
