I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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