Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
