Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Shame - the story of my life.
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