Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
