I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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