What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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