i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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