ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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