I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
