Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My feet surprised me
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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