just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
