I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
