just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
As shirtless as possible
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
