It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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