Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
