it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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