In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
nutella sex= disaster
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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