I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
