Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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