Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
