I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
