my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
