Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
